Miss USA vs. gay marriage

 
What the hell is so wrong with what Carrie Prejean said, or even how she said it?

Prejean was competing as Miss California in this year's Miss USA pageant. She said: "We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage... I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman... No offence to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

The press, however, referred to how her "outspoken opposition" to gay marriage "cost her first place in the competition." Here's one news article as an example, I assume many others ran with a similar line.

Re-read Prejean's words. "Outspoken opposition" is a pretty strong term - generally used in reference to demonstrations/protests, strikes or intensity in difference of opinion - and I am struggling to associate it with what she said. She stated her view genuinely, eloquently and politely. She didn't deny people of their right to choose or vilify anybody who had a different opinion to her.

"Her remarks drew a mixture of booing and applause from the crowd."

Let's make a reasonable assumption this reaction was split 50-50. It's also not an unreasonable assumption that the audience was at least loosely representative of (a) California where she's from, (b) other cities and states, including where the pageant was held, and (c) America as a country.

FACT: just four US states currently allow gay marriage while many others have passed legislation outlawing it. If you sought supporting evidence for the assumptions I'm proposing, there you have it.

Carrie Prejean believes in marriage between a man and a woman. SO WHAT? From what I can make out, so does America. Personally I want, if and when it happens, to marry a woman. SO WHAT? I have gay friends who want a man and lesbian friends who want a woman. SO WHAT? Why shouldn't somebody who wants a same-sex marriage have the right to be as happy (or miserable!) as somebody who wants a hetero' one? Does it have any impact on my or your personal happiness as an individual who somebody else you may or may not know wants to be married to?

But I'm not writing to debate her, my or anybody's personal preference or belief. It's the bigotry and hypocrisy of the "system" and the people JUDGING that's triggered me.

Miss USA - Miss Anywhere in fact - is at some level a representative of her country. Prejean's answer was in line with the politics and attitudes of most of her own most of America (not to mention many other countries she'd have been fortunate to visit during her reign). Otherwise there would surely there be propositions, ballots and legislation not just appearing all over the place, but being passed? That's not to say there aren't pockets of society fighting for it, they're more than likely not being listened to or even heard. She gave a politically correct answer that is socially acceptable to the majority only to be shot down for it by people who probably actually share her view but hide it, which stinks of hypocrisy and double standards.

Prejean, as things stand, doesn't seem like an inappropriate choice to me. Again, she simply stated her own personal belief. What's wrong with that? She didn't dump on anybody else for not sharing them or dispute their right to choose (though I'd like to be a fly on the wall for that conversation). So she'd be justified in feeling that her answer cost her the crown. She could have been three times as "good" as all the other contestants in every category but this answer would still have ruined her chances despite it being a representative of the nation. Freedom of speech, my arse.

Popular culture ridicules beauty pageants, stereotyping these girls as airheads obsessed with diet, cosmetics and wishing for world peace. They even made a movie - actually two - about it. All joking aside they're onto something with the world peace thing, something I'm certain I won't be alive for, but it'll continue to be a long and slow journey towards it while "society" (at whatever level you choose to think of it) continues to be reluctant / unwilling / scared to think outside the box, step outside its comfort zone and at least tolerate differences.

Actually, tolerance probably isn't enough. Try acceptance.